Heartattacking via Cheese Dip

I admitted just now boldly on facebook that I am an addict. My drug of choice the last year has been a host of addictions including alcohol and a drug or two. But the worst drug to me right now is food. No one ever thinks you can die from too much food. We need food to live. We like comfort food when we feel bad or distressed. When you take food to a level of sport it's not such a pretty picture. A heroin addict knows that last needle or puff can kill you. An alcoholic knows that last drink can kill you. Does a food addict know that the cheese dip and pretzels along with the bagels and donuts and taco bell will kill them? I honestly thought to myself today that being 60 lbs overweight to me is cause for me to go inward again as I do. Depressive thoughts are all abound. Twice this week I stayed home from work to sleep. Sleeping was easier than getting dressed in sweats and a tank top and going to work thinking what a slob I look like. I did for a moment hope a heart attack would occur where I don't die but I get a hospital stay and a do over. How sad is that? That was, is my truth today. I had a conversation the other day with a heroin addict who has been clean for a few months. He tried to kill himself with 90 klonopin. I asked why? He said he doesn't know how to do the day to day. Some days he feels great, 100%. Others he feels horrible. I said it's a process. Life is hard, but worth living. Minutes turn into hours. Hours turn into days. Days turn into months. Next thing you know you are moving forward. That was great advice from one who contemplated heart attack via cheese dip today.